THE MORE THINGS CHANGE

The phone was ringing for fucking
Evvvvvvvvvvvvverrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.
You finally picked up but before
I could get in a word you threw
Me on hold.
The music was good for a minute
While I waited to hear your purr.
But the more it played the less
My mind stayed and so soon I was gone,
Bouncing back to limbo.
I'm still here with the warm phone
To my ear, just waiting and wishing
That I can one day either get you
Back on the other end of the line
Or get hung up on so I can go
About my busyness without you.

what's more-more to come

i boomerang back to echoing moments,
whip pan to snapshots, remembering.
i wonder what you're doing, thinking.
i fantasize about the home, and kids
and traveling and growing old as one.

i wait for you to sneak up
& surprise the fuck out of me.

i wonder what it would be like.
i picture only a split second
& shivers snake up my spine.
i can feel the sensation, butter
flies in my stomach. i shake.

but some days all i can dream of
is running away to save my self.

SO'S YOU KNOW, QUEEN B.

it's the not
fucking knowing
if it's real
or just a shorter leash.
it's you not caring
as much as you claim.
it's the not sleeping
cuz you're sleeping with him.
it's my bubble bursting,
my fantasy blindsided by reality,
by my realize\ing
that i play the fool.